[Forum Game] KING OF THE HILL

[Wookums]

I tried this one on the masked warband forum way back when.

HOW IT WORKS

You want the hill. You NEED the hill. Simply find a way to remove the person who currently has the hill. At the end of your post you must state "I am king of the hill" or something very similar.

EXAMPLE

Person 1 runs up the hill and kicks Person 2 off the hill. Person 1 then proclaims in some fashion that I am king of the hill.

---

I'll start us off.

I magically appear on top of a hill. It's nice, I think i'll sit here a bit. I am king(queen) of this hill.

[furo]

I make my way laboriously up the soft slope of the hill.  Upon reaching the top, I politely ask Wookums if I can take a seat after such a strenuous hike.

I am king of the hill now?  Thank you so very much.

[Wookums]

I may have let Furo take a seat on MY hill, but he outstays his welcome. In the nicest way possible, I give Furo the boot. I am king of this hill.

[rothwen]

I walk up behind Wookums after ascending the back side of the hill. I see that Furo seems to have fallen down, and, in the process, his crown was broken. I hand Wookums a pail of water, and she goes tumbling after.

I am the king of the hill!

[Wookums]

I walk back up the hill, empty pail in hand, to give Rothwen a piece of my mind. After arriving at the top I find i'm at a loss for words... so uh... I put the pail on Rothwen's head and give him a good boop on the pail/head thus sending him rolling down the hill. Once more I am king of the hill!

[rothwen]

After a very long time, Wookums hears a dull moan behind her. Ascending the hill slowly is a hoard of zombies, sporting all manner of domestic items, including cones, screen doors, and pogo sticks. At the front is Rothwen, wearing his pail as a crown, noticeably un-zombified. A giant zombie, wielding a telephone pole, takes a mighty swing and sends Wookums sailing into the distance. The zombies cheer together "RAAAAAAARRLLRRRRRRR HRAAAIIRRRRRRRRRLLRRRR RRRRRRROOAAOTHWEERRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNN, KRRKIIIIIRRNNNNNNGRRRRRRRRR OOORRFFFFRRRRRR RTARTHERRR HRIRRLLRRRR!!!"

[Jones]

After thinking about it for an extremely long time from a nearby lesser hill, I wander very meekly through the zambies apologising exessively to every zombie in the way. 10,001 zombies later I finally flop over infront of Rothwen looking extremely sorry for intruding to lure him over, Upon investigating my flails Rothwen recives a swift bap bap equal to two gentle gusts of wind sending Rothwen tumbling back down, meanwhile from the top of the hill all that can be heard is "I wasn't actually sorry" as horrible Canadian storm clouds form at the top of the hill.

[Wookums]

I see the Canadian storm clouds forming around the hill off in the distance. I'm too tired out from all the 'Murica day partying the night before to be bothered about the hill though. Suddenly out of nowhere a giant bald eagle shows up. Giant like from the lord of the rings/hobbit sized eagle. Maybe bigger. And much more American. Apparently this giant freedom bird has telepathy or something and hears my unpatriotic thoughts about leaving the Canadian and his storm clouds alone on the hill. It compels me to do my duty as an American. I hop on it's back and we fly off to the hill. When we reach the hill I very ungracefully jump off the bird and go slamming into Jones thus knocking him off the hill. As I recover from my landing my very patriotic feathered friend gusts the storm clouds away leaving only pure California sunshine.

I AM KING OF THE HILL!

tl;dr I ride giant (American) bald eagle to the hill. It gusts the clouds away and I knock Jones off the hill. My hill.

[Jones]

Almost two weeks later for some unknown reason a small commotion can be heard from the bottom of the hill, starting off as a slow rumble and slowly escalating into a rather okay volume "engh" "eugnh" pathetic grunts and struggling that shake the hill to it's very foundation. After another really exessive amount of waiting a small twig like dot and glow can be seen on the side of the hill, It's Jerns! crawling up the hill for dramatic effect! being led on by the spooky scary ghost who was a personal trainer, ex military, pirate, fitness guru champion. As the crawling nears the top the grunts are followed by spooky motivational tips of no help at all to those with a severe lacking in the spook department but to ghosts such motivational sayings as "You call that a crawl?! more like not crawl can't" and "I'M SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THIS DRAMATIC EFFECT? WHAT ARE YOU SOME KIND OF NERD?" are the pinacle of self help. Finally reaching the top of the hill being nearly fried to a Canadian bite sized crisp by pure California sunshine creates a spooky ghostly glow surrounding Jerns and the sheer paleness of his skin forming a horrible skin mirror causing Wookums to tumble back down the hill. After the blinding flash of light dies down all that can be heard from the hill is "I dun claimed the hill!" but as the ghost quickly realizes what it did the victory is followed by "WHY WAS I HELPING YOU?" as the Ex military, fitness guru, pirate champion ghost flies off into the sunset.

[rothwen]

As the ghosts disappear into the ether, a rumbling begins deep under the hill. The ground begins to roil and churn at the base. Badger moles come bursting out of the earth, forming a circle and cutting away the hill. Flying bison descend from the clouds, lifting the hill into the air and shaking Jerns off to plummet to his death. Dragons cast flames into the now gaping bowl of earth where the hill previously stood, glazing it to a mirror sheen. An unagi rises from the sea (because it's California, which is always next to the sea) and fills the bowl to the brim with water, leaving a glass lake into which Jerns splashes harmlessly.

Several hours later, with the rising sun, the flying bison gently set the hill in place in Indiana. Rothwen ascends the hill slowly, triumphantly, and sits down upon its crest. "The first hill in northern Indiana. Erubur - The Lonely Hill. I am king upon the hill!"

[Wookums]

I want to prove a point. Anybody can take the hill and by any means.

I take a water bottle out and squirt Rothwen in the face with it until he gets off my hill.

I AM KING OF THE HILL

[rothwen]

I walk up to Wookums, poking her repeatedly, and I continually call her 'Jasper'. Eventually, she is so confused, she goes to join 'Jaspers Anonymous' to get help.

I AM KING OF THE HILL!!

[Wookums]

I haven't replied because i've been so confused by this.

After i'm done hurting myself in my confusion. I use a vicious SPLASH attack on rothwen and its SUPER EFFECTIVE.

i'm king of the hill.

[rothwen]

I bounce back, drying myself off from the splash. I charge forward, buster drawn! LIMIT BREAK!

I am king of the hill!

[drsigmafruit]

I stroll by and in the confusion, everyone has moved their fighting off the hill.

I am the king of the hill.